Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
