There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
