Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
