It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Please, let me fuck your mom
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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