Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
