I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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