I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
