I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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