they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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