i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize