my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
