i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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