sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
