a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
