so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
