I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
