made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
