belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
