Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
