super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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