Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
