Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
