I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
