I CAN MOONWALK!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
