i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
