I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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