The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
