Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
