its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
