She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We left the knife in your bed.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
