Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
