one might say we're banned from that church
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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