There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
