mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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