sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
