doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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