Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
