u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
