May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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