See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There r osticjed everywhere
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
