Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
