no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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