Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
