Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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