The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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