We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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