she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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