i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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