I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
