if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
