I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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