The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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