I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
